The main attraction of Friday night was a viewing of The Exorcist. Ellen and I snuggled up with one of our friends and occasionally covered our eyes and held each other, but it really wasn't as frightening as our parents told us. None of us had bad dreams, which was a pleasant surprise. C probably would have had bad dreams if she had been there, but she stood us up for Quinn. I forgive her though. I would probably occasionally like to spend time with my boy toy if I had one.
The events of Saturday-day were not very exciting for me, but they were pretty epic for Ellen and Oliver. To celebrate O's birthday, E took him on an adventure around the area on the most lovely of fall days. I was not there, so I cannot provide all the juicy deets, but basically, it is safe to say that these two have been pretty couple-y as of late, whether they want to acknowledge it officially or not. My approval has been stamped on their whatevership, though, and clearly, that's what matters.
Saturday night is when things started to get exciting around here, as one would hope they would at a college campus. E, O, and C were kind enough to join me at an open mic night hosted by a pretty neat club. I hate to break it to you, folks, but we (maybe with the exception of O) were those annoying people sitting in the back row, gracing the world with our witty, whispered commentary of the show and its attendees. That night we saw a very diverse crowd:
- Drunk girl in front of us who was really good at ruining symbolic silences. Even we didn't do that.
- One, or perhaps several of those characters Ellen blogged about awhile back.
- Hipsters in plaid. A lot of plaid. It was a basically a giant plaid party.
- An Asian-Australian (best accent ever) performing acoustic piano versions of "Hey Ya!" and "Birthday Sex"
- A white boy rapping. Or trying to rap.
- The cutest guitarist I ever did see. I found his forearms supremely attractive as he played his guitar. C and E (and especially O) did not understand this infatuation.
- Several boy-girl duos trying to be She and Him or Matt and Kim. Some succeeded. Most failed.
- Our new best friend (though he doesn't know it yet), the king of stand-up.
Needless to say, even when the music was questionable, we found ways to entertain ourselves through good old-fashioned people-watching.
After more than two hours of musical entertainment, C and E hung out with their respective boy toys as I made my way to the event's after-party. The following text I sent to C sums up the night rather well:
"don't know what to do with myself. don't think i'm good at going to parties."
After giving up on trying to flirt with all the 3.5 attractive, seemingly straight males at this party, and after realizing that drinking that much cheap beer would not actually give me the magical social powers needed to seduce boys, I left the festivities for the comfort and solace of my dorm room. Here are some texts that I sent in my less-than-sober state. (These are letter for letter, so you will see that I was really not that far gone. I left the party making fun of a guy who was much more schwastey than I was.)
"C, right now i am in my room drinking quarts of water at a time and dancing with myself in order to recover. this is what happens without you."
To E: "hey bud i've had 2 nalgenes of water and am on my way to recovery i hope. i am going to use some of your intense refrigerated medicine for my face lurker- hope you don't mind."
To summarize, the night was a giant, hilarious fail. I talked to senior boys in the least exciting way possible. I ran into a giant mass of annoying co-workers who don't even know people in the club I mentioned, but were still let into the party. I was intimidated by hipster upperclassmen girls who were actually totally heinous. Whatever. These events were all preferable to the other possible outcomes, such as keeping it less-than-classy and doing something I would have regretted. So I guess even failure is a good thing sometimes.
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I really have little else of significance to say, so I will leave you with a series of texts from the past few days. Some of these are from within our little circle; some are not. Regardless, they made me lol, but that might just be because I try to make myself seem cool by posting horribly uncool things about myself on this blog.
"was doing the fake talkin' on the phone thing when you texted me. i'm so flyyy."
"you're the brown sugar to my grapefruit."
"saw cute boy walking into the building and then dumped out my nalgene to have an excuse to go refill it. got a 2 minute convo out of it. mlia.
"just heard a guy singing 'uptown squirrel'."
"There was this one time we made out to an acoustic version of 'Straight Outta Compton.'"
From the Queen of Good But Possibly Boring Decisions,
M.
Finally another post, yo.
ReplyDeleteDon't let the heinous hipsters get you down. They will be unemployable upon graduation, which I guess doesn't matter because they'll die of lung cancer by 30. Oops.