Surprisingly, I am alive and well after a week of midterms and illness! I was even alive and well enough to party a little harder than my cat lady schedule normally allows. Friday night I went with out with two friends. Because they haven't been mentioned on here before and I have misplaced my list of fake blog-friendly names, I will just refer to them as N and O. Get it? M, N, and O. Isn't that cute? Wouldn't you think that was cute if you were 70 and a cat lady? Yeah. No.
Anyway, I have digressed. We went to a party at a brother of a friend of a friend's house. It was a sausagefest of senior boys, which is preferable to a sausagefest of freshmen boys, but still a fest of sausages nonetheless. Activities included getting hit on (a rare occasion) by one very questionable character and one slightly-less-questionable character and playing 3-on-3 beer pong (or BP, or beirut, or rut, or whatever you want to call it) with 21 cups against 3 senior guys. This was a new experience for me, as was playing BP with a specific partner I had to challenge. The ball my competitor and I used was labelled- ahem-
SNASHF#!K. Oh, of course, snashf#*k! Love her! Turns out this word, which was not even on Urban Dictionary, was the nickname of one of the competitor's former lady encounters. Good. Really good.
Though my BP partner had warned me that I would be drinking a lot, bragging about his skills before the game even commenced, he actually was pretty bad. Nothing compared to O's competition, who made every shot. Needless to say, her condition took a turn for the worse pretty quickly. After our game was over, she took to dancing, and this disgusting gorilla of a hipster interpreted that to mean that he had free reign over her booty. So he grabbed it. Then he grabbed it again as she walked by. Yeah, Hipster Gorilla, you're going to do more (or less) than grab a girl's butt and sport hipster glasses if you really want a girl to get with you. Maybe you should keep booty-grabbing to how it works out though! (I wonder what would have happened if George had been with us...)
Luckily, Hipster Gorilla did not have a chance to start such antics. Once O took to kicking a soccer ball in the corner, he came over to me and asked, "Is your friend okay?" "Yeah, I've got her covered," I said, "but she would probably be better if you stopped grabbing her ass every 5 seconds." He actually pretended to agree and said, "Yeah, I agree with that proposition." BOO-YAH. M CAN BE SASSY EVEN WHEN SLIGHTLY INTOXICATED.
GET IT.
Overwhelmed with cheap beer and sausages, we left shortly after this incident and proceeded to return to the dorms and chat while recovering with chocolate-covered pretzels. It was a good night. We wore clothes when we went out, which cannot honestly be said by about 85% of the girls at our school who go out. We weren't stupid. Though one of us did not succeed at keeping the gorilla hands off her booty, we will be more on the lookout for those grimy booty-grabbers next time.
In stark contrast to Friday night, my Saturday night involved a trip to my parents' house for the long weekend, which of course means a visit with my cats. I may have been in my PJs at 8:30 PM. No big. I know y'all are glad to see that I really am a cat lady at heart, even if I sometimes have to watch out for Hipster Gorillas and their grabby hands.
If you're confused about this blog's name and the anti-booty-grabbing theme prevalent in this post, you clearly haven't been reading GCBIMH for long enough. So now this means you get to feast your eyes, body, and soul by reading every post ever.
Best of luck,
M. <3
