Monday, September 13, 2010

R. Kelly, Rudeness, Racquetball, and Romance

Today was a pretty epic day.

At dinner, we discussed the enduring legacy of R. Kelly with David. We're psyched that our floormates have some concept of good music. D also revealed that he had a rather frightening dream involving Frank. We can only hope that F will show up in our dreams, though maybe in a different way.

We also heard from a reliable source that a lecture by a former president was rudely interrupted by some crazy who stormed the stage and had to be removed by security. Though this kid's passion was laudable, we suppose, we're not fans of how he chose to share his feelings with the rest of the community. Grow up. Maybe you'll find some tact somewhere in your rage. 

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"What does one wear to a racquetball date?" was the question of the day for our lovely friend and heroine. Love is in the air, blossoming during off-campus parties on Saturday nights. Drunk weekend hook-ups become rendez-vouses on weekdays, and, apparently, dates where the couple escapes to the gym. We like that Ellen and Hank are off to a healthy start--no pun intended. Anyway, our heroine decided upon a tennis skirt and a tight fitting top--apparently, though, for all you racquetball fanatics, long socks are the way to go. Will there be another date sometime soon? Yet another mystery of the universe arises. Boys are mysterious creatures (some more than others-cough, Frank and Ian, cough cough) and their thought processes can rarely be determined. According to Lee, our heroine must wait until Wednesday to see if Hank contacts her again. If not by Wednesday, Lee claims it will become a "lost cause."And Lee knows. He just does.

Another young lad has expressed interest in our heroine; we attribute her many suitors to her hot bod and her dazzling personality, among other reasons, of course. Anyhow, C got some reconnaissance at the library last night and discovered that yes, the rumors were true, and LGBD was interested in our friend and heroine. Despite the fact that he'd been denying it for days now (cut us a break--we've only been here for two and a half weeks), he finally fessed up after much probing. When asked for a statement, LGBD replied: "She's cool." Still bashful? He's a man of few words and many sweaters.

Meanwhile, C and M have begun on a new mission today: to capture the heart of a certain "Ian" who lives in our dorm. Well, actually, after some spying (but not creeping), it was discovered he lives in the same dorm as us! He was spotted first in the cafeteria, and a friend of a friend of a friend did some digging to find out more about this mysterious character with Mabelline-Ad eyelashes. Another enigmatic boy, so of course C and M are immediately drawn to him. What can we say? The brooding type is irresistible. Spotted: Ian with a cute girl today in the dining hall. M assured C that this stranger was a lipstick lesbian, only talking to Ian because she needed the company. You never know. (But Lee probably knows. He always knows).

And a shout out to George for doing his job today. Unfortunately, we can't say much about George now,  only that he is the ever-vigilant virginity protector, and that he completes the task assigned to him well. We will continue to thank him in the future as we wouldn't want his hard work to go unacknowledged.

And now for some...
Miracles of the Day

  • Between the two of us, we had 4 encounters with the most famous of the several celebrities on campus. And by celebs, we mean self-righteous kids who feels the need to inform us all each time they take a dump. So this was obviously a sign.
  • As the two of us struggled with a huge load of food and other dorm essentials delivered to C across campus, we realized the need for the strength of one of our burly young floormates. Just as we tried to call one of them, none other than Jack started walking towards us. He was about to head off campus, but he took time out of his schedule to help us with our load. Thanks, J. We wish there were more guys like you out there.
  • M. has been chattering nonstop about the VMA performances she's been catching up on today. There were definitely some stellar performances. Of course, Florence + the Machine ranks high on her list, but when does she not? The vocals were not Flo's best, but her costume and styling, along with the dancers, the gospel choir, and the whole production, were AMAZING. Of course, we can't forget about Jason DerĂ¼lo's sweet collab with Deadmau5, nor can we forget about the eternally sexy and talented Usher. If only he had actually sung more. He was also wearing too many clothes. Whoever did his styling was pretty lame, unfortunately. At least his dance moves were legit. Oh, but poor T. Swift...as much as we want to love her for her charm, we really have to question her talent. She seems like a nice girl, though- we'd both take her over Miley any day.
Lastly, we would like to offer you a Text From The Day (TFTD). We think we're getting off to a pretty good start with this one.

802: "this morning some rando frosh boy sat down with me at breakfast to make friends, and my immediate thought was, shit i guess i don't look intimidatingly hot 2day."

That's all for today, readers. Who knows, maybe we'll have some more juicy developments tomorrow. There is a part of every day that is so funny we rofl.

Your favorite observers,
C. & M. 

2 comments:

  1. I love Florence! What an epic performance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am honored to have appeared as your text for the day.

    ReplyDelete