Dearest Devoted Followers,
I'm sure questions are pinging through your brain right now, but, not to worry, I will answer them. First: Yes. I did just create a new word: "Laze." It's a verb. It means "to be lazy". Let's use it in a sentence: We lazed around yesterday, only getting off the couch once to make some more popcorn. Capice?
Two: Yes, it has been forever since M and C have blogged together, but, not to fear, that will come to pass soon enough.
And, Three: No. C should NOT be blogging while she is technically "interning" seeing as that if her "boss" has any way of tracking what websites she has been on and happens to come across one entitled "gotchobootyinmahhand", all hell could break loose. We will therefore hope for the best. Plus, as a decoy, washingtonpost.com is opened in another browser. I am the queen of stealth.
I have finished all of my laborious work as a big-city intern this afternoon. When I walked in at two, I was assigned the duty of hole-punching roughly 300 pages of paper. But, lucky for my nails and lack-of arm muscle, some lazy-ass invented this thing called the "E-Hole Punch". I'm not even kidding. You plug it in and feed in like 60 pages at a time. After a couple seconds of a noise that sounds like Cookie Monster stuffing his face, the pages come out hole punched. Voila. Those days of brute force, breaking your back trying to dig through as many pages as you can are gone. Welcome to the twenty-first century. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the image of Progress.
Anyhow. Back to college. A three day weekend quickly approaches and many of our colleagues have begun packing their bags to head to the motherland to visit Mom and Dad and that significant other they broke up with in August. All this for the glorious excuse of a holiday-Columbus Day. Thank you, Christopher, for sailing a ship, thinking you were someplace, being totally wrong, and coming back. We all (especially those of us getting some ass this weekend) really appreciate it. Some of us, however, have more elaborate plans for a more adequately named "staycation". Some of us will remain in our dorms, conscripting friends and burly men to move around the furniture in our room so it doesn't feel TOTALLY like a prison cell, or shopping trips for clothes to wear when it's below 80 degrees. And, that time will also include heading to the dining hall with some of the worst food imagineable.
Ok now for a little bit of a dining hall rant: college food may be notoriously bad, but this place, I believe, MUST be the worst. First of all, they shut off the soft serve ice cream at 8:00. Secondly, the way in which they house the marshmallow fluff makes you wonder "who the fuck would think of that?". And, thirdly, they don't even have sprinkles daily! I mean, what kind of place are they running here? [So you may have noticed that all of these complaints pertain to ice cream....but that's because all of the other food is completely unedible. I swear--Jack was talking today about the lack of orange juice. I mean, technically there is orange juice, but, in the words of Jack: that's not even orange juice! It's "premium orange blend"! I mean what the fuck is that shit?! Thank you, Jack, for putting it into terms we can all understand.]
In the meantime, the "boss" just came back--I gotta pick up some boxes.
a very whipped yours,
C
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