Meet Ben

Hello world. Today, rather than being in M or C's hands, your booty is in mine. Ellen. The so-dubbed 'heroine.' And I am a lover of butt-pinching.

If only that's what we were here to write of today. Rather, because there is little booty-pinching in my life, I would like to discuss one of the current fixations: characters, or otherwise ridiculous people.

Of course, I don't want any readers to stop here because of our biggest celeb's rendition of this subject already. A character in himself, did in fact produce an insightful video on how he feels that there are too many of us college students who take too many things for granted. I have to say, I tend to agree with him on this point; we shouldn't forget to be grateful for the many opportunities with which we are blessed. This is far too serious a topic for me to tackle at this point in my already rather boring life. (Yes, I know I just said my life is boring, thus being hypocritical. Clearly, I'm flawed.) But we're getting distracted here.

I want to discuss the real characters of college life. Those individuals that we can't help acknowledge with an eye roll, a snort, or a guffaw of sorts if it's been a long day. We have the Benjamen (based on a character I went to high school with) figure, who, regardless of what actual knowledge he or she possesses, rarely says anything of substance. True, there may be those rare occasions, but typically Benjamens raise their hands in class or speak out of turn with the regularity that most other students look at the clock. Or fantasize about what peers  might look like naked.

Though there are many archetypes (including the Hank, whose sole purpose it seems is to be the epitome of testosterone in this collegiate experience), the Benjamen is particularly amusing to me and by far the most prominent. Though I was at first annoyed with characters as such, tonight my dinner with Jack provided me with an opportunity to really enjoy these people for who they are. Benjamen N. found me sitting at a table with our dear Jack, and, though I tried not to engage, began to tell me about his day. At first, I was annoyed; but then, as the level of detail increased, I began to laugh a little in my head that here before me was seriously a person who truly believed that I or anyone cared about these few details he had to share while wearing khaki's, a tee-shirt, sneakers, and a fedora.

We all know Benjamens. And at one point or another we have been ready to give up our fantasy about our TA who looks like Mr. Shue from "Glee" and rather dream about smacking them in the face. Hard. But really, today was the first time I appreciated the Benjamen figure for who he or she is: these are the people who we can look at as to the "thank Goodness we are nots." We each have a Benjamen inside, I admit, because we all have moments of horrible insecurity and equally horrible arrogance. Perhaps the sole purpose of the Benjamen is to remind us to laugh at ourselves and that, though this period in our lives is interesting and important, it is not, in entirety of it. We don't to be Benjamen all the time.

Friends, readers, fellow Benjamens, I write to you as a guest today because sometimes all we can do in life is get by. Life in college may take you on a substantial ride on the Struggle Bus, but at the end of the day this is all fleeting. As are these characters. The best we can do is to smile and take it all in strive, and hope that we pinch some good booties along the way.

Adoringly yours,
Ellen.

Also, does anyone else find www.homestarrrunner.com funny? I still do...
ALSO no one told me that in college, 'humming' is a dirty, dirty thing. Look it up on Urban Dictionary.